tightrope
by jacklavigne
Summary: What if Piper never spoke to Alex again after the trial in Chicago? What will she do when a letter shows up at her door years later, followed by the ghost of her past? [two shot]
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Hello all, why yes, this is a new story. This was supposed to be a very long one shot, but I was distracted while writing this by our very own **_impavid fool_**, so I've turned it into a two part story. I know that I've got several other stories going on right now, but I had this stuck on my mind and I wasn't going to be able to write anything this else until I put this down, so hopefully you'll all forgive me for not updating my other stories. Anyway, I all hope that you enjoy this. I was tired while writing it, so I apologize for all and any mistakes. The characters aren't mine and the song at the start and the title of this story also do not belong to me. **_

_**Enjoy. **_

**Tightrope**

_I'm on the tightrope, you've got your reasons_

_When did it get so hard to breathe?_

_Hide in the spotlight, I'm feeling so tired_

_Your hands are burnt from holding me_

_And maybe you and I will fall in time, eventually_

_Maybe we'll both die trying, but I can't bring myself to leave_

'_Cause I've looked, and I ain't seen nothing like you_

_The way you light up every room tonight, so easily_

_And I have moved mountains, babe_

_Just a stumble and too long a grace, and I, I still can't compete._

_Kelly Clarkson - Tightrope_

It's been six years and you still don't quite feel comfortable in the outside world.

You live in the same apartment that your parents found for you upon leaving prison, a small but spacious one bedroom apartment with a separate bathroom, an open planned kitchen that leads into the dining area and the lounge room, with your comfortable couch and overflowing bookcases, which leads onto a small balcony with a view of the city. The decorations are sparse, Spartan; it's mainly just books and a few photographs and Miss Claudette's old blanket that you managed to sneak out of Litchfield that is now thrown over the back of your couch. Polly always looks uncomfortable when she steps through the front door and usually makes a comment about how it feels like she's still visiting you in the visitation room back at the prison, rather than in the outside world, but you like it here. You like the quiet and you like being alone most of the time; it's like your own little SHU, but without the outdated food and your neighbours don't scream at all of hours of the night.

It's comfortable and you're all about being comfortable since you left prison.

It's been just over six years since you walked out of Litchfield's doors, leaving a bunch of familiar but mostly unfamiliar faces behind you. You spent twenty two months in that hell hole; doing your original time of fifteen months with an added seven that you were given after lying on the stand in Chicago and you know you were lucky that you weren't there for longer after all the shit that went down during your stay. You made friends and you made enemies and you broke hearts and got your heart broken, but you kind of wouldn't change any of it, even if you did lose a part of yourself back there behind the barbed wire fences because you found some parts of yourself too, old and new.

But that didn't mean that you weren't happy as hell to leave that place behind; taking nothing with you except for Miss Claudette's blanket and some memories. The only other thing you took away from that place was none other than Nicky Nichols, who you managed to keep in contact with long after your release. The crazy haired inmate had your back in prison and you continued to have hers, even in the outside world, organising a job for her upon release and helping her find a new apartment with the money that her bitch of a mom gave her upon finally leaving Litchfield, healthy and clean. You see her a few times a week for lunch, when she comes by the PoPi store on the Upper East Side, and sometimes you talk about the days back in Litchfield, but usually not and you're more than okay with that. She's your one link to that part of your life, a reminder that it was real and scary and horrible, but also a reminder that you lived through it and came out the other side, stronger and better than before.

At least, you hope that you are better, you certainly feel like you are.

It's been six whole years since you left and you try not to think about it, try not to think about the time that you did and the people that you met and left behind, especially one in particular. It's not until a letter shows up at your door that you're forced back into the past, remembering the reason why your life fell apart in the first place and exactly who was responsible for that.

/

It's a Sunday morning and you wake up to the sound of your kettle boiling somewhere nearby, the shrill noise piercing your sensitive ears after a night full of drinking and dancing. You groan as you roll over in bed, your naked skin sliding against the soft silk sheets, feeling as if the world is spinning out of control and you cling to your pillow in a desperate attempt to hold on. You don't know who is in your kitchen, making coffee at this ungodly hour and you don't remember much of what happened last night, though that's no surprise when Nicky Nichols is in the picture. What you do know is that you came back yesterday morning from a two week trip to Malaysia, one of the many trips that you've taken in the past six years, and your friend had taken you out drinking to celebrate your return as she always did; more of an excuse to drink and party, than to celebrate your actual return.

You blink your gritty eyes open and almost immediately close them again when you are blinded by the light shining in through your bedroom window. You manage to glance at the clock through squinted eyes and find that it is only 9:26am, which is way too early to be awake on a Sunday, especially since you hadn't come home until after four in the morning. But the noise from your kitchen is persistent, forcing you to push your aching body shakily out of bed, choosing only to throw a comfortable robe over your naked skin, rather than going through the ordeal of getting ready for a day that you did not plan to participate in.

You rub your temples as you stumble out of the bedroom, blinking your bleary eyes as you round the corner and into the kitchen, where you find Nicky standing at the counter with a piece of toast hanging from her mouth. She's holding two cups of coffee in her hands and she passes one over the counter to you when she finally notices your appearance through her bloodshot brown eyes. Neither of you say a word, unwilling to break the silence as you both drink from your hot cups of coffee, surely both feeling your years as you begin to feel the caffeine slowly blending in with the alcohol still in your veins, neutralizing the blinding headaches that you both sport like war wounds.

It's Nicky who finally speaks first, giving you a somewhat tired grin over the rim of her coffee cup, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling. "What the fuck happened last night, Chapman? I feel like Red hit me over the headache with one of her rolling pins."

"You happened," you answer tiredly, smiling despite yourself. "You and tequila."

"Ah, tequila, my old friend," Nicky smiles in remembrance, before a frown furrows her brow. "My very, very, very old friend. I'm getting too old for this shit."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," You chuckle, making your way to the couch and sitting down, though you internally agree with your friend. You were both now in your late thirties, and you were no longer the girl who woke up feeling young and refreshed after a night full of debauchery like you had done in your college years. You feel like you have been hit with a truck.

A brief knock on the door stopped Nicky from replying and you both glance at each other with your eyebrows raised. "You expecting someone, Chapman?"

You shake your head as you slowly stand up from the couch, wondering if Polly had decided to stop by with Finn to welcome you home. You walk to the front door and glance briefly through the eye hole, frowning when you don't find anyone waiting outside your door. You open the door slowly and stick your dishevelled head out into the hallway, looking around for whoever had knocked and find no one, which only confuses you more. It's only when you look down as you're about to close the door that you see the envelope, with only your name written on the front in strangely familiar handwriting.

You pick it up and walk back inside, staring down at the envelope as Nicky comes out from the kitchen to take your place on the couch. You sit down beside her heavily, staring down at the letters of your name which are written in neat, blocky handwriting that you remember from somewhere, but can't quite put your finger on where.

"I thought it was Sunday? No post on Sunday," Nicky comments, glancing at the envelope in your hands as she finishes off the last of her coffee. "Maybe it's your acceptance letter to Hogwarts?"

"Maybe," you smile, though it almost instantly fades when you turn the letter over and find the initials on the back, written on the lip of the envelope in that same neat writing, and you realize with sudden clarity why the handwriting is so familiar.

"Hey, Chapman, what's wrong?" You hear Nicky's voice as if it's from far away, full of concern. "You look like you've sending a fucking ghost, man."

"Fuck," is the only thing you manage to say, as you grip the letter tightly with shaking hands. "Fuck."

"Wha- oh." Nicky leans against you, shoulder to shoulder as she looks at the back of the letter and she suddenly breathes a hollow laugh. "Oh, shit."

You let the letter drop through your fingers to float down to the floor, where you can still see the initials written in black, bold pen, taunting you. The little AV with a love heart scrawled on the lip of the letter leaves your heart thumping in your chest, and you barely acknowledge Nicky's comforting shoulder pat as she stands up.

"I think we need more coffee for this shit," she says as she walks past you and towards the kitchen. "Irish coffee this time, I reckon."

/

It was Valentine's Day when you received the very first letter, in a dark red envelope with those very same initials written in the corner, followed by a small black love heart. It had only been a few weeks since you had returned from Chicago and your anger had been almost overwhelming as you had thrown the letter in the bin, to be followed by more and more as the weeks went by. Every single Tuesday at mail call, your name was called and you would receive your letter, only for you to tear it up as you walked away, letting the tiny pieces fall to the floor for the cleaning crew to pick up after you. You didn't even feel the slightest inclination to read them, to read the words written by the person you had once loved more than anything and who had betrayed you not once, not twice, but more times than you could count.

Fool you once, right? Only, Alex had managed to keep on fooling you and it made you sick to your stomach how fucking stupid you had been. You weren't that naïve girl anymore and you weren't about to fall for any more of Alex Vause's lies and so the letters went unread and eventually, as the months passed and the seasons changed, they came less and less until you thought they had stopped coming at all.

It had been almost six months since you had received your last letter and you couldn't care less, because you were getting out of this place tomorrow and you had already given all your shit away to all your friends that would be staying behind. You had donated the many books you had collected over the years to the outdated library, minus your more racy books which you had split between Nicky and Taystee. All your spare clothes had been given back, except for your jumper which had been given to Morello, after hers had been ruined while working in the greenhouse with Red. There were clothes waiting for you at the front desk, sent in by Polly just over a week ago, who you had finally forgiven after months and months of silence after learning that she was sleeping with your ex fiancé. You were finally ready to leave and there was a mixture of excitement, anxiety and fear mingling in your belly, threatening to make you throw up but you couldn't stop smiling, which only made the other inmates want to throttle you with jealousy but you didn't care.

You were getting out. This was the best damn day of your life.

You jumped to your feet when Bennett stopped outside your cube, wondering if they were letting you go early, even though it was almost eight o'clock at night. Red watched from her bunk with wide, curious eyes, only raising an eyebrow when Bennett simply handed you a letter before telling you that he'd be back in the morning to take you out of this shit hole. You had looked down at the letter, seeing the initials in the corner almost immediately and you had felt your happiness dim, earning a soft sigh from your room mate.

"You should open it, you know," Red had said quietly, with her thick Russian accent as she looked at you from over the tops of her reading glasses. "She won't know how to contact you once you are out, and you might never get a chance again to hear what she has to say."

"I hope so," you replied bitterly, feeling the overwhelming urge to tear up the letter as you sat down on the edge of your bumpy mattress. "Why should I hear what she has to say? She fucked me over."

"True," Red acknowledged with a nod. "But, you don't want to take this out there with you, honey. If you throw that letter away, you're always going to be angry, always going to wonder why, but if you open it… maybe you can get a little peace, no? Maybe she has something's that she needs to say and that you need to hear and there's only one way for you to find out."

The older woman had left then, with one final pat on the shoulder, to visit Nicky before lights out and to give you a little privacy to make your decision. You considered what Red had said seriously, turning the letter over and over in your hands before you finally stopped and sighed. You had to admit that Red was right; that you were sick of holding onto this anger, to this feeling of betrayal and hurt that tore up your insides every time you remembered the woman that had fucked you over. Alex had betrayed you, had hurt you and god, she was the whole damn reason that you were in this place, but you were honestly just sick of holding onto it, holding on to _her. _

"You gotta let her go," Nicky had told you one day while they were working in electrical, shortly after you had returned from Chicago. "It's going to kill you if you don't, Chapman."

You hadn't been able to let her go then, but maybe you were now, you had thought to yourself as you finally started to open the letter with shaking fingers. It was your last day in prison and maybe, just maybe, you could leave Alex behind with everything else when you started your new life. All the hurt, all the anger, all of Alex, you _wanted _to leave it behind.

And so you had started reading.

_Piper, _it said.

_I'm so sorry for everything. I know that my track record is shit and I know that I've given you no reason to believe it, but I really do love you. Still. _

_I'm sorry._

_Love,_

_Alex._

It was exactly as you had expected and yet, not what you had thought at all. It was short and to the point, just like Alex and you couldn't help but smile as you folded the letter back up and slipped it back inside the envelope, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off your heart.

You left the next morning, leaving behind your friends and the place you had called home for the past twenty two months, and also a letter that you had placed carefully in the bin, along with the memories of a woman that you had once known.

/

You pushed open the door to your apartment, struggling as you attempted to juggle the multitude of things in your arms as you kicked close the door behind you. You dropped your keys into the bowl by the door before stumbling towards the kitchen, where you placed your groceries on the counter with a heavy sigh of relief. You opened the paper bag that you had been holding first, pulling out a can of beer and snapping it open before taking a sip and eyeing the rest of the bags that you had somehow managed to carry up the six flights of stairs to your door. You pushed the bag of Thai food to the side, figuring that you could dish it up when Nicky showed up and began to unpack your groceries, pausing briefly in front of the fridge door and staring at the letter that was attached to it, curtesy of Nicky who had put it there almost a week ago.

You hadn't opened the letter, despite Nichols attempts to force you to, and had instead left it on the floor where it had fallen. Nicky had pestered you for a while, before eventually giving up and taking her leave, but not before sticking the envelope to the fridge door with a magnet that you had picked up on your trip a few years ago to Spain.

Ignoring the letter, as you did every other day, you opened the refrigerator and started to put away the things you had picked up from the supermarket on your way home from work. You had barely finished before there was a knock on your door and you smiled as you picked up your can of beer and went to open it. You expected to see Nicky's smirking face when you opened the door, but you were in no way ready to find Alex Vause standing in the hallway outside your apartment, looking exactly as she had almost eight years ago when you last saw her in Chicago.

You immediately closed the door, just on instinct.

_What the fuck? _You mouthed to yourself silently, as you stood on the other side of the door with your blue eyes wide and your mouth gaping. Your heart seemed to have stopped beating in your chest, leaving you feeling strangely hollow as you stood there silently, frozen in a state of shock. Your hands were shaking as you slowly leant forwards, pressing your ear against the door, only to jump back when a loud voice suddenly sounded from the other side.

"Piper! Come on, I know you're in there now, obviously," Alex's familiar husky voice sounded from the hallway, her tone half upset and half exasperated. "Please, will you just open the door? I just want to talk."

Her voice seemed to jump start your heart, causing it to race and thump painfully against your ribs as you stared at the door with wide eyes. You had half a mind to walk away, to go back to the kitchen to open another beer and wait for either Alex to leave or for Nicky to arrive. You were hungry and you wanted to shower and drink and you didn't want to open the door and talk to the ghost of your past.

But for some reason, that's exactly what you did.

You opened the door slowly, taking the time to look at your ex-girlfriend who was staring back at you just as blatantly. It was true that Alex looked exactly the same as you remembered, with her long dark hair falling over her broad shoulders and in tight black jeans and a leather jacket that reminded you of memories from long ago. But upon a closer look, you could see that time had not left her completely untouched, with small wrinkles beginning to form at the corner of her eyes and around her full lips, but unfortunately, they almost seemed to make her more attractive than before. She looked the same, but older and more mature, with green eyes that were a little bit jaded behind her glasses and lips that were pursed in a straight, nervous line rather than her normal confident smirk.

"Alex," you finally managed to say in a whisper slash hiss, your eyes narrowed with suspicion upon finding her standing in your hallway after almost seven years since seeing her. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm here to see you, obviously," she responded in her normal, sarcastic way, though it wasn't as condescending as it once might have been. "Are you going to open the door and let me in or are you planning on leaving me out here?"

"And why, pray tell me, would I let you inside of my home?" You asked, raising your eyebrow sceptically before frowning in confusion. "How the fuck did you find me anyway?"

"I have my ways," the older woman said, finally letting that familiar smirk pull at the corner of her lips as she shoved her hands in her pockets. "And if you let me in, maybe I'll tell you."

You shook your head in defeat when you finally stepped away from the door, opening it wider to let the dark haired woman inside. You watched her cautiously as she strode down the hallway, her hands still deep in her pockets as she looked around your apartment with bright curious eyes. You gave one final look out into the hallway before closing the door behind you, crossing your arms as you watched Alex stop in front of your many bookshelves, her green eyes gliding fondly over the titles.

"Alex," you finally said after a few minutes of silence, your voice bordering on frustration as the other woman looked over your kitchen counter, opening the bag that contained your dinner with a look of interest. "Why are you here?"

"Thai?" Alex asked, completely ignoring your question as her eyes gazed around the kitchen, pausing on the fridge when she saw the letter attached to it. You cursed Nicky silently as the dark haired woman smirked at the sight before returning her attention to your face. "It looks like you have more than enough for two. Are you expecting someone?"

"I was, so imagine my surprise when I find you outside my door instead," you grumbled, passing the older woman as you strode into the kitchen and grabbed another can of beer. You shot Alex a dark look as she smirked at you over the counter, knowing that you weren't going to get any answers until the other woman decided to give them to you, which could take years in Alex's case.

"Must have been a shock," Alex murmured in response, reaching into the bag of beer and grabbing one before you can even open your mouth to protest. You just shake your head instead as she cracks open the can, taking a small sip as she continues to watch you. This is Alex's way, after all, making herself at home, no matter where she was and thriving in awkward and uncomfortable situations. She was probably having the time of her life while you felt as if you were going to wake up from a dream at any second.

This couldn't be real after all, could it? What kind of person just shows up at someone's door after seven years of no contact anyway?

You hold her gaze evenly from across the kitchen counter, waiting until the dark haired woman finally sighs in defeat and rests her can of beer on the shiny counter top. She runs her finger around the edge of the can in a nervous gesture, before looking up at you with a surprisingly vulnerable gaze.

"You never replied to my letters," she finally says, reaching up to adjust her glasses as you feel your heart begin to beat faster in your chest, due to a mixture of anxiety and anger.

"I never read them," you reply coldly, before shrugging your shoulders. "Except for the very last one, but I left it behind when I left Litchfield, just like I left everything else behind, including you."

Alex looks like she's been slapped in the face, her expression a mixture of sadness and shock and you almost feel bad. Almost. The guilt is almost immediately overwhelmed by all the anger and the hurt and you lean back against your pantry door as you stare at the older woman emotionlessly. You thought that you had left all these negative feelings behind, but it seems as if you had only buried them, just so that they could reappear now, upon seeing the woman that had caused the feelings in you in the first place. It was like a volcanic eruption, the way the lid seemed to suddenly burst off the top of the bottle that you'd been hiding them all in, letting them flow through your veins like molten lava.

It was an explosion and Alex was about to get burnt.

"Seriously, what the fuck did you expect, Alex?" You finally spit after a few moments of silence, ignoring the way that the older woman cringes as your harsh tone. "You really fucked me back in Chicago, so what did you honestly think was going to happen? Did you think that I was just going to let it all go and forgive you, when you were walking out those doors as a free woman while I got another seven months added to my sentence? Did you think I could just forget that you told them that I had lied on the stand, that I had met Kubra? I fucking protected you, just like you asked me to, _begged me to, _and you fucking _betrayed me._"

"I know, Pipes, I'm sor-"Alex attempted to apologise, looking surprisingly sincere, but you cut her off. You didn't want to hear it.

"Fuck you, you're sorry," you hiss, your eyes narrowed as you clenched your hands into fists, making the faint white scars on your knuckles stand out, a reminder of your fight with Tiffany. "I fucking loved you, Alex, and you ruined _everything. _I may have broken your heart, twice, but you threw me into that fucking prison, you lied to me and made me love you and I gave up everything for you! I gave up my life, I gave up Larry, and I lost my job and my friends and everything else, because of _you. _And then, in Chicago, I put myself on the line _again_ for you, I lied for you and you fucking threw me underneath the bus, _again. _So, fuck you, Alex. I don't want or need your apologies; all I need is for you to get the fuck out and stay away from me. It shouldn't be too hard, since that's what you've been doing for the past six years, anyway."

There were tears in her eyes, you saw even though she desperately tried to hide them from you. She ran her fingers through her dark hair, breathing out shakily as she looked up at you with watery green eyes, eyes that were pleading with you. It was a painful reminder of that day in Paris, a lifetime ago, the way she was looking at you right now.

"Piper," she whispered, her voice as shaky as her fingers, which were resting on top of the counter. "Please."

"Leave." You said, closing your eyes, feeling drained of emotion, and feeling drained of fucking everything. When you opened your eyes next, Alex was gone, disappearing from your life again without a trace and it was only then that you unclenched your fists, revealing the tremors that were shaking up your insides.

The front door opened suddenly and your head snapped up, expecting Alex's return, expecting her to yell and argue and fight, because Alex was never one to just run way. But it was Nicky, whose eyes were wide with shock as she pulled off her jacket, shaking her head in surprise and disbelief.

"Shit, Chapman," Nicky said as she walked towards the kitchen, practically bouncing with excitement. "You will not guess who I just saw walking down the street."

You sighed as you pulled two cans of beer out of the paper bag, passing one to your friend as you opened the other, taking a long drink before replying. "I bet I could."

/

You end up eating only a mouthful of Thai food before you let Nicky drag you out of the apartment, in much need of more alcohol since you've drunk all the beer. It's less than two hours later that you're slumped back against a chair at the bar around the corner, having just finished what must have been your seventh or eighth drink. Nicky is sitting across from you, watching you with surprising intent, despite the fact that she's been matching you drink for drink, but then again, Nicky had always been able to hold her alcohol better than you. You, on the other hand, are a light weight and it makes you easy pickings for your friend, who is picking the last bit of information out of you, after your recent run in with your ex-girlfriend/mistress/life ruiner (her words, not yours).

"Shit," was all Nicky said when you finally finished, downing the rest of her beer before dropping the glass heavily on the table. "That's some heavy stuff, Chapman."

All you can do is nod dejectedly, sincerely agreeing with your friend, since the situation is more than a little fucked up. The last thing you expected when you woke up this morning was for Alex Vause to walk back into your life in all her glory and you keep on drinking in an attempt to convince yourself that it was all just a bad dream. Because every time you have thought about Alex, you've never let yourself wonder about where she is now, never even considered that she could possibly be somewhere nearby. You'd heard from Polly, months and months after the trial in Chicago that Kubra had never been put away and you had always expected Alex to run for it. Alex's safety had always come first and you had expected for her to make herself the invisible woman, to hide out in Cambodia or Santorini. You knew that she had a nest egg to fall back on, knew that she had money stashed away where the feds would never find it and that she would be able to start over somewhere else.

But now you knew that she was here and worst of all, she knew that _you _were here and you couldn't fucking forget.

"Why?" You ask suddenly, unaware in your current state that you are talking out loud. "Why is she here? What the fuck does she want from me?"

"I don't know," Nicky answered, with a small furrow between her brows. "You didn't really give her a chance to explain that, after all."

"You think I should have given her a chance? Seriously?" You feel a surge of anger well up towards your friend at her words and she holds her hands up defensively as she shakes her head.

"Chill out, blondie. I never said that," Nicky spoke, dropping her hands slowly back onto the table. "I don't think you should really give her the time of day, god knows that I wouldn't. I'm just saying, whatever chance you had to find out is gone now, I guess."

You apologise quietly for your outburst and Nicky acknowledges your words with a nod, knowing how stressed you are about this entire situation. You both decide to call it a night, since you already have plans to meet up tomorrow for lunch with a few other old friends and Nicky drops you outside your apartment complex with a gentle pat on the back before disappearing down the street. You walk up the stairs to your apartment with exhausted legs, wanting nothing more than to collapse into bed since you're not really fit for anything else in your drunken state. You reach your door finally, pushing it open, immediately kicking off your shoes and throwing your jacket over the back of the couch as you walk towards the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. You're halfway through the glass when your eyes inevitably move towards the envelope that's stuck to your refrigerator door and you pause.

You think about what Nicky said, about never knowing what Alex wanted to say and you find yourself moving across the kitchen without thought. You take the letter out from underneath the magnet and hold it in your hands, running your finger over your name written in that familiar hand writing. You weren't even slightly curious to read this letter before today, had barely even thought about it before Alex showed up on your door step, but now you can't help but wonder.

You're ripping it open before you even realize what you are doing, unfolding the page to look at the words written on the letter before you, even as your mind is screaming at you to stop. But you're drunk and you can't help yourself as your eyes scan over the words, which are blurring together on the page and making it hard to read.

_Dear Piper, _it says.

_I know that this is fucked up, but I couldn't seem to stop myself from writing this letter. I've been back in this city for three months and already, I'm seeing you everywhere. I see you at the coffee shop across the street from my apartment, at the store where I buy my groceries and you've even walked past me on the street without recognising me. _

_I keep going to talk to you, but you're always gone before I can reach you._

_I need to see you, Piper. I know that we haven't talked in a long time and I know that I fucked up, but I hope you can give me a chance to explain. _

_Please, think about it._

_Love,_

_Alex._

You're so focused on the words on the page that you don't even hear the front door opening and closing behind you. It's not until you hear the squeak of a floor board that you whip around, the letter still clenched tight in your hands as you find yourself looking at the face of none other than Alex Vause.

"Is this a bad time?" She chuckles huskily, her green eyes flicking between your gaze and the letter that you're still holding.

And if you weren't so damn drunk, you're sure that you would have told her to go fuck herself; you would have yelled and raged like you had hours ago, but all the fight has drained out of you. All you can do is shake your head, leaning heavily on the kitchen counter as you meet her gaze with your suddenly clear eyes.

"Let's talk."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors Note: I have finally gotten around to updating the second part of this story, of which I hope you all enjoy. This second part is written from Alex's point of view, instead of Piper's, as originally planned, because I wanted to show both sides of the story. Most of this was written on very little sleep, so I hope it's not too bad, because I only went through it once, looking for errors, instead of the usual three or four checks that I normally do. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you thought!**_

_**Tightrope**_

_You're on the tightrope, I've got my reasons_

_How did we get so tangled?_

_You turn, I stay straight, I bend as you break_

_We're so messed up, but I know_

_That you and I will fall in time, eventually, or maybe we'll both die trying_

_Cause I ain't seen nothing like you_

_The way you light up every room tonight, so easily_

_And I have moved mountains, babe_

_Just to stumble into your good grace_

_And I, I still can't compete_

"_Let's talk."_

Your face is all overwhelming relief and you know it, can feel your lips spreading in a smile. You feel lighter, knowing that Piper is finally willing to give you a chance, even as you refuse to admit that you aren't giving her much of a choice. You honestly can't help yourself, have never been able to when Piper was concerned, since every goddamn thing in your life has always somehow revolved around her, since you met the blonde almost eighteen years ago. It's only been made harder recently, when you began to see Piper everywhere, despite the fact that you promised yourself that you would finally leave the poor kid alone, since she obviously wanted nothing to do with you.

But now you're here, standing in her apartment and she's giving you a chance, slim as it is, to make things right, and it changes every plan and promise that you've made in the past seven years; it changes everything.

You suddenly don't know what to say to her, after all these years planning elaborate speeches to gain her forgiveness, you can't remember a single word of what you wanted to say. This isn't surprising, since if there's ever been one person in the world that could make you nervous, could make you completely speechless, it's Piper. She has a certain hold on you, a way of controlling you that you've never encountered with another human being, and the woman doesn't even know it. She has been the one constant in your life, always there in your mind even if she's not there in person, having an input on all your important plans and decisions.

You wish it wasn't true but unfortunately, it is, or otherwise you wouldn't be here. You'd be back walking the streets of Athens or roaming the markets in Kuta, like you have been for the past seven years (though you would never admit it, all those places had something to do with Piper anyway).

"Are you going to say something?" Piper's voice finally pulls you from your thoughts. "Anything?"

"I- uh," you stumbled over your words, feeling like a love-struck teenager as you gaze at the woman that you haven't seen for years. "Honestly? I had a million things I wanted to say to you, but I never really thought that I'd get this far, you know?"

"I can imagine," the blonde murmured, eyeing you thoughtfully as she leant against the kitchen counter, her posture practically screaming of exhaustion. "Where have you been, Alex?"

"Everywhere," you answered with a small shrug, never taking your eyes off the woman in front of you. "And absolutely nowhere. I've been kind of lost, to be honest."

/

You wrote letters to Piper almost every day for months, stuck as you were in your tiny, shitty apartment, with nothing better to do than to beg for forgiveness. You never received a response and you can't say that you weren't surprised, but it still fucking _hurt_, like a punch in the gut as the weeks flew by with no letters in your mailbox. You pretty much wrote the same thing every day, hoping that this would be the letter that Piper would finally read, once she got over her initial anger at you after your epic fuck up in Chicago. The whole situation wasn't entirely your fault, since Piper had been adamant about telling the truth and it had been a last minute thing when your lawyer offered you the deal to testify against Kubra for your early release. You figured that Piper would end up telling the truth, adding to the evidence against your boss and maybe she would even receive less time for her contribution, maybe even a deal like your own. You had been initially hesitant, since Kubra was well known for his sick, deep revenge and you almost just wanted to reject the idea completely and finish off your time in Litchfield. Prison was a big step up from torture, in your opinion, which was what your life ended up being upon being released; complete and utter torture.

But your lawyer had promised you that the case against Kubra was bullet proof and that information, added to your deep desire to be free, finally pushed you to testify. And my, oh my, what a huge fucking mistake that had been, because of course, some asshole fucked with the evidence, rendering the entire case a huge fucking waste a time and practically insuring a bullet in your brain.

You remember being ridiculously happy that Piper had lied, once you heard the news, because at least that meant that the blonde would be safe, even if it meant that she hated your guts for fucking her over, again.

And so you had started writing her letters, begging for forgiveness, begging to see her, begging for her to call, but she never did. You spent every day locked inside your apartment, constantly looking out the window and over your shoulder, fearing for your life and hoping that maybe Piper would someday reply. But Piper never replied and after more than a year of waiting, knowing that the blonde must have been released from prison, you decided that enough was enough and that you had to let go.

And then the attacks started.

It was never anything physical, more just mental attacks to keep you afraid and to let you know that Kubra was aware of your existence in the outside world, aware of where you lived. It started with a rock thrown through your window, scaring the shit out of you as you read one of the few books that you owned, what must have been the hundredth time. Then came the door knocking, which was less like knocking and more like pounding, which shook the thin walls of your apartment and left you a mess on your bedroom floor, clutching the small handgun that you owned.

It ended with two bullet holes through your front door, one of which barely missed your head as you dropped to the floor and that was when Mr Crockett finally got off his fat ass and did something.

You were put into protective custody, given a new name and shipped off to Spain where you spent the next six months of your life getting drunk almost every night in attempt to smother the nightmares that haunted you. The one good thing about being shipped overseas meant that you were finally able to access your old bank accounts, and since you were rarely ever checked up on, you started travelling. You had hidden away millions of dollars over the years in off shore bank accounts and that money served you well as you travelled all over the world, never staying in one place for too long. You travelled to places that you had never been before, but more often than not, you flew to the places that you had stayed in back when you were with Piper. You never set a foot back in Belgium, the city which you considered to be the beginning of your downfall, nor did you return to Paris, where you had experienced the worst day of your life. Instead, you travelled to Indonesia and to Greece, places where you had stayed with Piper when you were both happy and in love; places with good memories that helped you move past the more recent traumas in your life.

Places that made you think about Piper every fucking day, especially when you would swear to see her, whether it was at the Coliseum in Rome or in the streets of Prague.

You had been gone for almost six years when you finally received the call, the one that forced you back to the States and into the real world. Kubra Balik was once again being taken to court, with new evidence after fucking _Fahri _had been caught with almost two hundred grand in his suitcase. (It seemed as if the business had been going downhill in the last few years, forcing the higher ups to do their own dirty work.) As a part of your deal, you were forced to testify should the case ever be reopened and thankfully, after months of work and court hearings, Kubra was finally put away.

And for the first time in seven years, you actually felt _free. _

And then you saw Piper, truly, this time.

You had been walking home to your apartment in New York, the one you had gotten after Kubra was charged and sent to prison for the next twenty five years to life, when you first saw her. It was early morning and you were returning from a meeting with a parole officer, who let you know that the system would still be watching out for you should Kubra try anything while in prison, but that you were basically off the hook with the system, finally. There would be no more random phone calls or check-ups, nor would they push you to get a job, and you were truly happy with how everything had turned out.

And that was when you saw Piper walking out of the coffee shop, across the street from your apartment building. You had literally stumbled at the first sight of her long blonde hair, half hidden beneath a white woollen beanie that made her skin look positively golden in contrast. Even with her several layers of clothing, you could tell that your ex-girlfriend hadn't lost her figure over the years, nor had she aged much with time. To be completely honest, Piper looked even better than you remembered.

And without even thinking about it, without considering the consequences of your actions, you were crossing the street and following her down the road. You quickened your pace in your attempt to catch up with her, but it wasn't long before Piper was lost in the mid-morning hustle and bustle of New York City.

You had almost cried, thinking that you would probably never get another chance to see her again, but how wrong you were.

You ended up seeing Piper everywhere; at the coffee shop, in the grocery store and at the library, the woman even walked past you once on the street whilst talking animatedly on her phone. You always tried to catch her, but she always managed to unknowingly evade you, until one day, you were leaving your apartment, just as the blonde was walking out of the coffee shop across the street.

You followed her, of course, all the way back to her apartment, only a few blocks away. How fucking ironic, you thought, that Piper would live only a few streets away from you in such a huge city; so close and yet always out of reach.

And so when you went home, you wrote her a letter, feeling as if you had gone back in time seven years as you pressed the pen against the page. You walked to the blonde's house and placed the letter outside her door, wishing you had the courage to just knock and endure whatever the blonde had to say to you after so many years without contact, but you ran instead, convincing yourself that you had every intention to return.

And return you did.

/

"Lost," Piper repeated the word softly, pulling you from your thoughts once more and it's only now that you notice the slight drunken slur to her words. "Yeah, I know what that feels like."

You watch the blonde silently, taking the precious time to study her as Piper stares off into space, lost in her own thoughts. Not for the first time, you wonder what your ex-girlfriend has been doing for the last six years, since she left Litchfield. You honestly don't know a thing about Piper's current life, whether she has a partner (though you know she's not married or engaged by the lack of ring), where she works or who she hangs out with. You wonder what happened to Larry, who Piper was so insistent on marrying, or whether she had gone ahead with her soap business upon leaving Litchfield.

You wonder if you'll have a chance to find out.

You look at the way the blonde is practically slumped over the counter, every line of her body screaming exhaustion as she runs her fingers through her hair tiredly. You notice the dark twin bruises beneath Piper's normally vibrant blue eyes, a testament to her lack of sleep and you sigh quietly to yourself. This isn't fair of you, to take advantage of Piper in this state, tired and drunk as she is. It isn't fair for you to seek her forgiveness, only to receive it in a moment of weakness for the blonde. You don't want that. If Piper decides to forgive you, you want her to do it knowingly, you want her to mean it and you want it to be real.

"This is a bad time," you finally murmur, breaking the silence with your soft, deep voice. Piper looks up at your words, her eyes wide and surprised. "I should probably go."

"You're leaving?" Piper asks in disbelief, with a hint of worry and a dash fear in her voice. "You only just got here, and you haven't even said anything yet."

"I know," you shrug with a small smile. "But you're drunk and I'm not and this isn't how I want to do this. I want you to remember what I have to say in the morning, not only pieces of it."

Piper is quiet for a few minutes, simply staring at you without a hint of emotion to let you know what's going on inside of her head, before she finally nods. "Am I going to see you again? Or are you going to disappear on me?"

"I'll be back," you promise, before deciding on a better solution. "Or, you can come over to my place sometime, when you're ready to talk. I actually only live a few blocks away."

You take the envelope from your letter and pick up a pen off the counter before quickly jotting down your address, adding your phone number underneath. You walk around the counter and hold the paper against the fridge, attaching it with a magnet before giving Piper a small smile.

"I'll see you around, kid," you murmur, slowly walking backwards.

"You will," Piper answered, with a small reluctant smile beginning to tug at her lips, and that's all the reassurance you needed before closing the front door to Piper's apartment behind you.

/

You wake up the next morning with a smile on your lips, feeling happier than you have in years. After returning home last night from Piper's apartment, you hadn't been able to shake the feeling of joy that came with seeing your ex-girlfriend. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, as if all the guilt you had been harbouring for the last seven years was finally beginning to seep out of your heart. You knew that nothing was okay between you and Piper, at least not yet, but just knowing that she was willing to talk to you was more than enough to add a bounce to your step. You were simply grateful that the blonde was giving you the time of day to explain your side of the story, rather than kicking you out onto the street like you deserved.

Your happiness only increases when you're drinking your morning coffee and you notice the light on your answering machine blinking with a new message. You press the play button and grin when you hear Piper's husky, morning voice echo throughout your apartment.

"_Hey, Alex, it's Piper. Look, this is fucking crazy, since I literally kicked you out of my apartment yesterday, but I was wondering if you wanted to come out to lunch today? There will be a couple of other people there too, Nicky included; you remember Nicky right? Of course you remember Nicky. Well, she'll be there and I'll be there and honestly, I'm too fucking hung over today to deal with people, but I can't cancel so I'm going to use you as my buffer. Consider it a part of your five step forgiveness plan. I know it's not really the most ideal way for us to talk, but maybe having you there will help me become more accustomed to having you around and maybe we can go out for coffee afterwards. It's up to you."_

The rest of the message consisted of Piper rattling off the address to a restaurant a few blocks away from your apartment, where you were meant to meet her at midday. You looked at the clock on your microwave, glad that you had enough time to shower before you had to meet Piper, and of course you were going to meet Piper, even if it meant having lunch with her friends.

It would be good to see Nicky at least, you thought as you finished your coffee.

You shower quickly before looking for suitable clothes, rubbing your dark hair dry as you search through your wardrobe. You settle for a pair of tight black jeans and a loose white t-shirt, sitting a black fedora on your head over your wavy, raven coloured locks. You pull on your favourite pair of black combat boots as you stumble towards the door, with your phone and wallet in your back pockets. You rush down the stairs of your apartment building, knowing that you're going to be late and cursing yourself for taking so long to choose something to wear for a casual lunch, but you want to look good for Piper.

God, you feel like you're twenty five again, rushing off to meet the blonde for a date, with the same nerves making your palms sweat and your heart pound against your chest.

You arrive at the restaurant five minutes late, adjusting your glasses on the bridge of your nose as you glance through the window, searching for a glimpse of blonde hair. You're interrupted by someone clearing their throat and you turn around to find Nicky standing behind you, catching you completely off guard.

"Are you a stalker now, Vause?" Nicky asked with a smirk, looking exactly the same as you remembered from prison, minus the beige khakis. "You look kind of creepy staring through the window, looking for Chapman."

"I was invited," you answered immediately, feeling slightly defensive beneath Nichols intense stare. You hold your old friend's gaze until her smirk finally cracks, forming into a wide grin and you can't help but return the smile. "You look good, Nicky. The outside world agrees with you."

"I do all right," Nicky chuckled, pulling at the lapels of her leather jacket, which was thrown over a white tank top and a black skirt. "Can't say the same for you, Vause. You got old."

"Fuck off," you laughed, shaking your head, only to stop suddenly when a voice sounded from behind you.

"Who are you to talk about getting old, Nicky?" A familiar voice spoke from over your shoulder, causing you to whip around in surprise. "Wasn't it just last week that you were getting me to dye your hair to cover all of your greys?"

"Piper," you murmured softly, your eyes wide as you took in the woman standing before you. Piper looked gorgeous in a pair of tight dark blue jeans with black boots that hugged her toned calves perfectly, while wearing a tight white button up shirt with a black women's suit jacket over the top. You felt as if all the air had escaped your lungs as the blonde pulled off her sunglasses, exposing her bright blue eyes that were sparkling in the early afternoon sunlight.

"Alex," Piper said quietly in response, raising her blonde eyebrow slightly. "Glad to see you could make it on such short notice."

"Well, now that we've got the awkward greetings out of the way, we should probably go inside," Nicky finally spoke up, breaking the silence. "I don't know about you two not lesbians, but I'm starving and we sure don't want to leave the others waiting. You know how Barry gets when he's hungry, Chapman."

Your eyebrows practically rose into your hairline at Nicky's words, as you watched in quiet surprise as the crazy haired woman pushed past you and into the restaurant. Piper was watching you with a small smirk, her neat white teeth biting her bottom lip as you stared back at her with wide green eyes. "Barry? She doesn't mean _Larry, _does she?"

"You've been gone for a long time, Alex," Piper said, though there was more amusement in her voice than anything. "It is possible that my ex fiancé is now married to my best friend, who was indeed invited today so yeah, Larry is probably here too."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You muttered in disbelief. "_Larry and Polly?" _

Piper laughed briefly, but it wasn't long before her smile faltered and she sighed softly, turning her gaze away. "You've been gone for a really long time, Al. A lot of things happened."

You could only watch as Piper opened the door to the restaurant, turning back briefly to gaze at you with soft, sad eyes. "You coming in?"

"Yeah," you replied, you deep voice equally soft. "Yeah, I'm coming."

/

"That was awful."

"It wasn't so bad."

"Pipes, that was the most awkward and horrible experience of my life."

"Well, now you're over exaggerating."

Its late afternoon and you're walking aimlessly down the street with Piper by your side, after just leaving the restaurant. In your opinion, lunch was quite possibly the most awkward experience of your life, as you sat around a table with not only your estranged ex-girlfriend but also her ex fiancé and her best friend, both of whom were known to hate your guts. It had started off more amusing than anything, watching Larry's eyes widen with both disbelief and anger as you walked into the restaurant with Piper, but the amusement had faded much too quickly. Larry was much too polite to say anything outright, but the tension from his angry silence and his hateful glares had left you exhausted before you had even ordered. Polly had seemed too shocked to say anything at your sudden appearance, merely giving Piper a meaningful look before exchanging forced pleasantries with you. The only highlight of the entire experience was Nicky, who had no qualms about making awkward jokes and references during the entire meal, while Piper looked on with quiet amusement.

To be quite honest, Piper seemed to have enjoyed the entire ordeal way too much, hiding her grin in her salad and barely saying a word, forcing you to make conversation with Nicky and Polly in an attempt to dissolve the tension filled silences.

"It actually went a lot better than I had expected," Piper continued thoughtfully, with a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips. "I honestly didn't think that Larry would be able to make it through the entire meal, especially with Nicky throwing in those comments about the chapel and what not."

You snorted with laughter, eyeing the blonde from the corner of your eye. "You and Nicky seem close, at least, closer than you were when I last saw you both."

"She was really there for me when I got back from Chicago," Piper shrugged, though a fond smile graced her lips. "I mean, as much as Nicky can be there for a person without ruining her tough as nails reputation. I tried to keep in contact with some of the other girls after I left, but it didn't last, though I see Morello with Nicky every now and then."

"Oh yeah? Did that Christopher guy every come back into the picture?" You asked curiously, remembering the fiancé that was waiting for Morello on the outside; the bane of Nicky's existence.

"Christopher never existed," Piper replied casually, causing your eyes to widen with shock before the blonde continued. "I mean, he did _exist, _but not for Lorna. It was all very… complicated."

You were both quiet for a few minutes, lost in your respective thoughts. You shook your head as you considered the information Piper had just told you, wondering what that must have been like for Nicky. You knew that your friend had been heartbroken when Morello ditched her for her fiancé and you could relate to that, to that feeling of abandonment and worthlessness, since you had been in a similar situation yourself. But when it came down to it, you had always known that Larry had existed, had known from the beginning that Piper was engaged and despite your hope that things could work out between you and Piper back then, you had always known that there was a chance that the blonde could turn tail and leave you in the dust like she inevitably had. It hadn't made the experience hurt any less, but at least you had been prepared for it. God, how it must have felt for Nicky, to find out that she had been left for a relationship that wasn't even real.

So lost in your thoughts, you hadn't even realized that you were walking down the street that led to your apartment building until Piper came to a slow stop. You paused beside her, looking up at the building before turning your head to look at your ex-girlfriend, who was looking down at the pavement.

"Do you want to come in?"

"I should probably get home."

Both sentences were spoken at the same time, followed by a strained silence as Piper finally looked up to meet your gaze. You tilted your head slightly in question, having thought that you and Piper were getting along quite well, despite everything, but perhaps you had missed a sign. You watched in quiet disappointment as Piper glanced away with a soft sigh, shoving her hands into her pockets as she looked at the door to your apartment building.

"This all feels too normal," the blonde finally said softly, still avoiding your piercing gaze.

"What do you mean?" You asked, your voice equally soft, although you already knew the answer, but you wanted Piper to confirm it.

"I don't know," Piper sighed again, scuffing her shoe against the sidewalk. "It just feels the same, you know? It's like, every time we meet, we fall back into this pattern so quickly and you have this way of just making me _forget_. I see you and I forget to be mad or upset, and fuck, I forget why I was even angry with you in the first place and I hate that. I fucking _hate _that you can still do this to me, Alex."

You're not entirely sure what to say or if you should say anything at all, but you do anyway. "You have every right to be mad, Pipes."

"I know!" Piper's voice is suddenly angry and she growls softly as she pulls her hands from her pockets to run her fingers roughly through her hair. "I know that I have every right to be pissed off, but then I see you and I'm just not. It's like all of that shit that we did to each other, it all just fades into the background when you're around. And I'm scared, Alex, I'm really fucking scared that if I go up into that apartment with you, that I'm just going to let it all go and I don't know if I can do that yet. I don't know if I want to."

You understand where she's coming from; you know the feeling all too well. You remember that feeling of anger that fuelled you, years ago, when Piper left you in Litchfield for Larry. You remember being so angry that you wouldn't even let yourself think about the blonde when she was locked up in SHU after her fight with Doggett. You were so pissed off for letting the blonde hurt you again, but all that anger and pain had evaporated upon seeing Piper in Chicago. You had wanted to be mad, but you couldn't even dredge up the slightest bit of negative emotion when you saw her from across the yard; all that was left was relief and joy.

You understand how she feels and you accept it.

"I am sorry, Piper, for all of it," you finally said, with your voice hoarse and strained. Piper met your gaze as you spoke, the frustration and anger seeming to seep out of her blue eyes as she stared back at you. "I really am."

"I know," Piper said softly, reaching out to touch your arm briefly before letting her hand drop to her side. "I know you are, Al."

And then you watched her turn and walk away, wondering if you would ever see her again as she slipped around the corner and out of sight.

/

It's almost three am when you're awoken by someone pounding on your front door. You sit up in bed, feeling a surge of fear at the noise, until you manage to convince yourself that Kubra is behind bars and unable to hurt you. You push yourself out of bed, sliding on your glasses as you pick up a pair of pyjama pants from off the floor, pulling them on as the knocking starts up once more. You grumble in complaint as you leave your room, shuffling across the apartment until you finally reach your door, which you pull open to find a dishevelled looking Piper standing on the other side. She pushes past you without a word, leaving you standing by the door with bleary eyes and a confused frown on your face.

"By all means, come on in," you murmur to yourself as you shut the front door, turning to face Piper, who is standing in the middle of your living room with her hands on her hips. You recognise the blonde's stance and immediately know that you're in for a rant, but you're happy that she's here nonetheless.

"You lied to me," Piper finally said, whirling around to face you in all her messy haired glory, with her beautiful face fixed in a perfect scowl. "You promised me, _swore to me,_ that you had never lied to me before, but you did and then you lied to me again and again, so how the fuck am I ever meant to believe what you say, Alex? How am I meant to read your letters and hear your apologies when all you do is lie to me?"

"I don't know," you responded honestly, feeling a lump forming in your throat as you choked out the words. "I have no fucking idea, Pipes."

"Then why the fuck did you come back?" The blonde asked angrily, throwing her hands up into the air. "Why the hell couldn't you just stay away? You come back here, throwing around these apologies and acting all sad and sincere, but you haven't actually told me why the fuck you came back after all these years of nothing from you. So, why, Alex? Why the fuck are you here?"

"I wanted to see you," you answered, shrugging your shoulders, as if that explained everything. "I knew you were mad and I wanted to try and fix things between us."

"Fix things? _Fix things?" _Piper asked, laughing hysterically without a hint of humour in her voice. "You haven't done _anything _to fix things, Alex! All you've done is apologize for some shit that happened seven years ago, but you never explained _why _you did it. I know why you gave up my name, _I get that, _but you said that you were done with me, Alex, so why did you throw me underneath the bus again? Was it revenge for me choosing Larry? Why?"

"I didn't think that you were going to lie," you tried to explain, your voice betraying your frustration. "I thought that you were going to tell the truth!"

"_But you told me to lie," _Piper hissed.

"And since when the fuck do you do anything that I tell you to, Piper?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest to hide your shaking hands.

"Always!" Piper shouted, her voice thick with emotion and the tears that you could see beginning to well in her eyes. "I always, _always, _did everything that you asked me to, Alex, right from the very beginning. I carried a bag of drug money for you! I ruined my entire life, _for you._"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Your voice finally rises, trembling with your own emotions that are beginning to seep out from within the carefully constructed walls that you had built around your heart. "I never planned for any of this to happen, Piper. I didn't plan on seeing you when I came back and I sure as hell didn't fucking plan on showing up on your doorstep, but I did. I saw you fucking everywhere and I couldn't resist, okay? You never replied to any of my letters and I didn't know how you were or if you were okay and I just couldn't stay away. I couldn't just sit idly by when you were buying fucking coffee across the street from my apartment every day and when you were walking past me on the sidewalk and I'm fucking sorry. I am so fucking sorry that I have managed to fuck up your life again. I'm sorry that I sent you to prison and I'm sorry that I sold you out in Chicago. I am sorry that I wrote you that goddamn letter and showed up at your door. I'm fucking sorry, okay?"

You're both breathing heavily by the end of your rant, staring at each other from across the room. You feel as if a weight has been lifted from your chest but also as if someone has slugged you right in the gut simultaneously, and you're not sure if you feel worse than before or better. But it only lasts for a few seconds, because suddenly, Piper is running across the apartment, closing the distance between you and then she's in your hastily thrown out arms, pressing her lips against yours so hard that you're sure they will bruise.

It's crazy and completely unexpected, but also entirely welcome.

"I hate you." Piper is murmuring heatedly against your lips in between kisses. "I fucking hate you, Alex."

"I'm sorry," you whisper back, though you can't help but smile. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

It feels so good to have her in your arms, to experience this feeling that you never thought that you'd have again. The kisses are dizzying and the feeling of Piper's fingernails scratching against your scalp is making your knees weak, so you begin to slowly manoeuvre the blonde backwards before your legs give way. Your shoulder brushes the doorway of your bedroom and you pick Piper up when you feel her arms tighten around your neck, moaning at the feeling of her toned legs wrapping around your waist. You can feel her heat against your stomach, through the blonde's jeans and everything is escalating so fast that you know you should stop. You know that you should pull away and give yourselves both a moment to breathe because you don't want to rush into something that Piper might regret later.

You remember well Piper's penchant for getting caught up in the moment and you don't want this to just be a moment of weakness for the blonde. You want this to be real and forever and so when Piper's back hits your mattress, you reluctantly pull away.

"Alex?" Piper asked breathlessly, looking up at you with dilated pupils and expression of such want that it almost brings you to your knees.

"I love you," you blurted out suddenly, surprising yourself with your own words and surprising Piper if the look on her face was anything to go by. "I still love you, Piper."

You watch with baited breath as Piper's expression of shock softens into one of understanding, as she reaches up to run her fingers through your hair. Her gaze never leaves yours when she replies. "I love you too, Alex."

The relief you feel is so overwhelming that all you can do is bury your face in the blonde's chest, breathing out a ragged breath that you hadn't realized you'd been holding. You have been back in Piper's life for just over twenty four hours and you had never once dared to imagine this outcome, that even after everything, she still loved you. It's enough to bring tears to your eyes, feeling Piper run her fingers through your hair comfortingly and you lay there in silence for a few heartbeats, just revelling in the sensation.

"I don't think that I'm lost anymore," you finally whisper, pressing your lips against Piper's neck. You feel her smile against your temple, with the warmth of her tears against your cheek.

"Me either," she replied. "I think I'm finally home."

_End._

_**Authors Note: Well, did you guys enjoy it? I know it ended quite suddenly and a part of me toyed with the idea of dragging this story out for a few more chapters, but this is how I always planned on ending it, because it's just so Alex and Piper in my eyes. Maybe, just maybe, after I have updated and finished some of my other stories, I might just add a little epilogue to this story. Let me know what ya'll think about that idea and we'll see how we go, yeah?**_


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